Ahad, 20 Jun 2010

Don't Love The One Who Loves You

Assalamualaikum

 The Otai.

Okay-okay tajuk lebih sesuai rasanya kalau "Don't love someone just because he/she loves you". but nevermind. Lets get this thing straight to the point. Lets talk about cakap orang tua-tua yang ni. But lah kan, bila di fikir-fikir balik, dah agak lama aku tak tulis pasal love-love ni. Readers aku pun dah banyak yang tak tanya pasal love-love dah. Mungkin takut aku sound kot. Ah korang. Selagi korang comel, aku tak akan sound punyalah. Jangan risau. Oh, bila aku cakap 'comel', aku maksudkan perempuan sahaja yea. Lelaki, jangan nak mengada-ngada.

So, you guys believe on "Love the one who loves you. Not the one that you love."? Well, personally, i am not really into this quote. Quote ni biasanya di lemparkan kat seseorang yang dah reject korang, mungkin? Love the one who loves you, not the one that you love is really just like "bertepuk sebelah tangan"

Dalam banyak-banyak comment yang ada kat sini, ada beberapa comment yang aku amat-amat setuju.

Contohnya

"I don't get it, why would you want to force yourself to love someone that loves you (where you clearly don't have any feelings for that person)? That just makes you a selfish bastard. That person sebok dok nak make you happy, you on the other hand pulak, sebok TRYING to make yourself into liking/loving him. What happens if you just can't? Kan dah rugi masa/tenaga orang tu. Relationship is a mutual agreement." ~ I R Awesome

Here is the situation. You are a beautiful girl. An ugly guy came and confessed that he loves you like forever. And you must accept him just like that? Accept him and forget your so-long-Mr-Right that you are just wanna work it out? Just like that? Oh if yes, then you are a good liar.

 I am always a single boy, girl

Love, is the things that you can't force. It's damn no right if you are hoping you can. Pernah dengar tak pepatah "You are beautiful. But when he doesn't love you, then, he is not love you". Yes, its something like you are forcing someone to love you by using this quote but its not gonna be work.

You can force someone to 'be with' you. But you can't force them to be really love you. Believe me you are not going to be happy even you are 24/7 with the person that you love. Its all because he/she didn't feel the same way. And you gonna be look really pathetic. Pathetic.

Ianya sama bila korang couple hanya di sebab kan kasihan. Dan, seperti Ayie cakap, perempuan akan rasa annoying bila lelaki yang dia tak suka tak habis-habis mengurat. Well, seriously, lelaki pun akan rasa sama bila perempuan yang dia tak suka/ bukan taste dia asyik gangu dan cuba buat kita suka kat dia.

Satu lagi sebab aku rasa 'we-should-not-love-someone-just-because-he/she-loves-us' is 'the rhythm'

Aku bet la. You guys yang used to couple, break and flirts mesti dah perasan pasal the rhythm. Benda ni biasanya terjadi kat lelaki. Situasinya, seorang lelaki mengurat kaw-kaw perempuan tu. Kira macam best gila la main tarik tali. Sampai bertahun-tahun lelaki tu mengurat. Last-last, bila dapat, its nothing. Kenapa nothing? Ye la, masa sebelum couple, gila-gila perangai. Tapi bila dah couple, nak kena jaga perasaan lah, kena kongkong la, kena tu lah kena ni lah. Tu menyebabkan rhythm dah berubah (Aku belajar dalam Greek Season 3). Sebab tu la ramai complaint "Lelaki bila masa mengurat romantik je. Selepas dah dapat, terus rasa lain". Yes its all because you can't  follow the rhythm. Also, one of you can't get into another just like bertepuk sebelah tangan.

Your Prince Charming does not exist

Gadis A suka kat lelaki B. Lelaki B suka kat Gadis C. Gadis C suka kat lelaki D. Lelaki D pula suka kat Gadis A. Okay now tell me how the hack you gonna apply this "Love-the-one-that-loves-you.-Not-the-one-who-you-love" thing? Everybody needs to give up and live the love with the 'sympathize' feeling? With the person that he/she did not love?'


Actually, quote ni adalah terbaik di gunakan hanya untuk orang yang di kahwin paksa atau di kahwin dengan pilihan keluarga. Kalau tak faham, just baca novel Aa+Bb. Dan hal ni dah di cakap oleh Adziim juga dalam entri ni.
Aku percaya tetapi dalam situasi terus kahwin sahaja. Bina perasaan cinta itu semasa sudah bergelar suami isteri. Dalam kes kata orang tua ini, lebih ditekankan kepada pihak perempuan aku rasa. Kalau dalam konteks couple nasihat ini tak boleh pakai sangat, nak-nak kalau couple bertahun-tahun. Kerana love itu akan jadi jemu. Love dalam kahwin ini lain. ~ Adziim

Kan?

Korang nak ke seseorang yang korang suka, suka kat korang balik hanyalah sebab dia takut orang lain tak mampu sayangi dia (Based on the quote)? Dan lebih menyedihnya, korang nak ke seseorang tu 'pretending' sayang kat korang hanya semata-mata korang sayang kat dia?

Nobody is perfect.

Aku pernah baca satu buku motivasi tulisan HM Tuah kalau tak silap aku. Buku dia bagus. Walau pun tak sebagus penulis Jangan Bersedih, Mencari Makna Hidup dan Follow Your Heart, still, buku dia bagus. Dia ni selalu jadi Kaunselor Keluarga (agaknya). Katanya ada seorang isteri complaint sebab dia (si Isteri) tak boleh terima perangai Si Suami yang dia tak kenal (Kahwin pilihan keluarga). And HM Tuah ni suggestkan supaya si isteri belajar untuk sayang si suami. At the end, si isteri boleh terima si suami and live happy ever after. The End.

So, aku rasa memang quote ni lebih sesuai kalau di tujukan ke pasangan yang dah kahwin.

And, quote ni adalah better kalau ianya "LEARN to love someone who loves you".

But in the end, bila you guys still can't love the one who loves you even you tried it out, just drop off. Just stop and let he/she knows that you can't love him/her. And yes, 'that' one who loves you will suffer like hell after you dropped him/her off. Why? Because you gave him/her the false hope at the first place. You act like you 'like' him/her but the real is you don't. Its all because of this "love the one who loves you" quote.

So, thats why I didn't agree if this 'love the one who love you' concept is applied to couples.



"Love people who care for you than expecting love from someone who doesn’t care about you at all." - Geetha Anad

"Love the one who loves you." - Dr. Terri

"Jangan suka kat seseorang, hanya kerana dia suka kat korang." - Mr K

"Semua ni ujian. So pegi la blaja sayang yang maha ESA dulu..." - Cik Gincu 

Comment Cik Gincu tu mesti ramai terasa. Tapi aku tak. Aku tak.



45 Comments:

"miko itu nana" berkata...

stuju btol...

miss faten berkata...

Ayat2 kau sangat panjang tapi bermakna. Aku suka !
Sejujurnya kasih sayang yang lebih diberkati adalah melalui ikatan yang sah, yakni dah kahwin. So setuju jugak kalau quote itu dikhaskan untuk yang dah berkahwin. Couple couple tu takyah, bukan masing2 ada tanggungjawab yang mutlak pun :)

M. berkata...

jangan bercouple.

kahwin terus.

kalau tak, tunggu.

durakhyar berkata...

nice feedback for that quote..

bila fikir balik..betul gak..

otak ketat berkata...

setuju. jgn bazir masa, perasaan, duet, dan kredit. haha. tak payah nak kesian-kesian / cuba-cuba / berfikiran mungkin dia jodoh kalian. at least for now, korg tak suka, tak payah nak terima. kalau mmg dia jodoh kalian, satu hari pasti akn bersama gak. toksah risau ah. hehe.

wHoSeNa berkata...

ahaa...kupasan yg bgs..betul tuh..sokong sgt..klu lelaki tuh xhensem...lg la..wahaha...learn to love the one loved u...quote yg lebey sesuai...;))

ms sengal berkata...

bagi saya, CINTA ini PELIK..

susah nk pham erti sebenar cinta..

:P

one_munawwarah berkata...

love the one who loves you ni, mmg valid dipakai untuk selepas berkahwin. and truth be told, perempuan mostly boleh jatuh cinta dengan suami, tapi suami nak jatuh cinta kat isteri lepas kena kahwin paksa, macam....agak susah kot.

and we're back to the fact that, we won't be marrying people we have crush on, cuz semuanya adalah pre-destined. but what we CAN do is to love that pre-destined person for us.

dan aku rasa perempuan sepatutnya boleh juga pegang "Don't marry the guy you love, but love the guy you marry".

rhapsody LiN berkata...

aku rasa cinta lepas kawen lg bes kot. plus, aku rasa mcm buang masa couple2 lama2 pastu end up break up.. dah rugi macam2. tapi mama aku x mo carikan. dia suruh cari sendiri! T_T

fQ berkata...

sokong sokong sokong!
smbil melompat atas sofa..ok itu tipu.
at last..ade jugak jmpe yang bersetuju.

Mohd Adziim berkata...

Trima libatkan nama aku juga dalam entry kau ni.
:)

Komen Cik Gincu tu memang menusuk hati aku r. Power!

meo188 berkata...

erm...complicated issue nie... :

a kl citizen berkata...

perasaan tak boleh pukul sama rata untuk semua orang...
benar untuk situasi kita, mungkin akan jadi salah untuk situasi orang lain.

apa pun, kita lebih kenal diri kita sekarang, so, tak boleh tipu diri sendiri.
go with the flow... your own flow of life, kan.

boleh cinta dulu, then kawin
atau kawin dulu baru cinta.

AkuAyie berkata...

yes..inilah yg kita mawu..

aku ske gabungan pendapat yang ko karang ni.

perasaan cinta memang tidak boleh dipaksa kan? tapi perasaan tu boleh dipupuk, hanya, dan HANYA bila diri terasa dipunya sepenuhnya; dalam erti kata lain, 'kahwin'. hoho

athirah berkata...

btol!

noor afzan berkata...

better kalau dua2 pun cinta sesama sendiri kan?
tak mustahil kot.

Nurul Harun berkata...

panjangnya entri ni, dan x sangka sy baca habis entri ni, dan sprt yg semua sangka, saya setuju dgn entri ni..

miszmextor berkata...

just found this at tumblr.

i once asked an old man :
which is more important, to love or to be loved?

he replied:
"which is more important to a bird, the left wing or the right wing?"

lily_lolypop berkata...

xpyh kejar org yg kite suke,
tp dye x ske kite.buang mase!

cinta la org yg kita cinta dan dye juga mencintai kite. eceh!

kalo xpat cmner?
so, dr skg, bc lah surah al-rahman.
smoge pat jodoh baik + insyaAllah ditemukn jodoh. :)

nk cri laki,utk jd ketua keluarga,
tgk la keturunan , agama n lagi satu budi bahasa kot.if im not mistaken.
kalo slh, betolkn.

wslm :)

-Lol- berkata...

haha
giler terasa aku.
sbb kan isu nih,
smpai skang aku mls nak bekapel.
tkyah pon lg baikkan?
sbb susa nk dpt org yg kite suke,then suke kite balik.
huhu kesian that my ex,ikhlas gile2 kot.tp skang dah ade lain..cpt giler -.-

cKyN WaN berkata...

pernah gak ada pengalaman "love the one who loves you" ni.

masshie mastura berkata...

ye ye saye mmg comey huahuahua:P

betol2 mane bley nk pkse kite ska org laen. soooo trueeeee.

icycool berkata...

hati ngan perasaan ni ssh nak cakap kan?

org yg kite suke tak suke kat kite
org yg suke kat kite, kite lak tak suke kat dia

dan cinta ni tak dapat di paksa.. tp kalo dah kawen tu terpakse redha je la baik buruk... kalo lum kawen leh pilih2 lagik... hehe...

yup slalu dgr quote tu..bese tuju utk pompuan la.. sebab pompuan ni boleh bukak hati terima org..(jika dh kawen mcm di aturkan keluarga) jika laki tu mmg baik la orgnye..

sdgkn laki ni even pompuan tu baik, comel, tp tak semestinya dia suke kat pompuan tu kan? tul tak? kalo tak nape laki ade bini lawa, baik pun leh terpikat ngan pompuan lain? pompuan lak laki tu panas baran la, penagih dadah la.. dah kene pukul la..masih duk setia kat laki tuh.. kontra kan? hehe..

cinta laki ngan pompuan ni berbeza..

Nadirah berkata...

Simply loving your blog..^^

anna_naquiah berkata...

hmm...xfhm n penin ble baca entry nie..mgkin sbb anna x pnah kot amik pikir sal what is it love is all about..hmm

farah@pa'in berkata...

nice. nice and nice. kadang2 memang kite xbole pon nak pakse diri sayang owang tu walaupon dat guy memang perfect- hensem, kaye , baek, bijak- hati da tak suke an. tapi kite pompuan ni, kalu da sayang sowang guy tu, memang stick teros. n xkan pandang laki len..hukhuk cinte lepas kawen.. unik tapi camne plak cinte yang da bertaun-taun. kecian plak si pasaNGAN yang tunggu bf/gf die selame betahun-tahun..then at last get married to others? ee takotnyer. satu penantian yang sungguh sie2. hmmm

lavea berkata...

wah novel hlovate!

setuju apa yg dikatakan Cik Gincu~

siti sarah berkata...

ok, saya stuju dgn pendapat cik gincu tu..

err, xpe kan komen kt entry ni sbb rasa agk ketinggalan..haha

better built love after marriage..
because the love will sustain much longer than whilst couple..
n the most important cinta tu diberkati Allah..sbb tu tahan lama..
mcm cinta atok2 kita..jarang dengar org dulu2 bercerai berai..
tp, org zaman sekarang, cerai tu da jadi 1 benda yg cliche..

err, termembebel plak..haha
nice entry by the way..:)

afiqah berkata...

mak and ayah kawen without knowing each other tapi anak empat jugak:P
mak ckp that love will come naturally..

Encik Psychopath berkata...

such a lovely.

SaYraH WonDerLanD berkata...

better jgn bg HARAPAN palsu pada org-yg-cinta-kita-tp-kita-tak-cinta-dia ...Sebab apabila kita bg harapan palsu..org tu akan Trauma..dan dia akan set pada mind dia..

"Semua perempuan/lelaki adalah sama"

and at the end...dia xkan bahagia..sangguhkah anda bertindak kejam terhadap org-yg-cinta-kita-tp-kita-tak-cinta-dia

like u care berkata...

so,klu ad someone suke kt kite tapi kite xsuke kt die tapi kite nak try..boleh la try eksperimen hormon Phenylethylamine ea?

nur berkata...

thanx 4 d advice..............

i agrees with u....

K2r~90 berkata...

my fez luv -Allah
second luv - family
third luv - husband


so acelly hargailah insan y pernah hadir dlm hidup kita sbb dgn dia baru kita blajo ape tuh cinte

cinta x beerti hanya pada insan y bukan muhrim, ia adalah meluas...

so jom same2 doa cinta kita dtg dr pertemuan y dirancang oleh Allah bukan kita merancangakannye

.... berkata...

ha.ha.kau masukkan element Aa+Bb ? baru fes time aq bukak blog kau ni . aq dah jatuh hati .oh hlovate . kalau kisah cinta macam ni aq nak gune quotes ape ? hee.

ASH_LEE berkata...

aku pun tak tersa dgn quote cik itu...malahan betul lagi apa yang dia quotekan tu...dan 'cinta KERANA ALLAH lagi bek n better n BEST PUNYERRR...trust me!...

Amira berkata...

"Don't find someone you love but find someone who loves you". Isn't that a cycling process which actually means the same thing? I mean if you have to find someone who loves you, in a way that someone is finding the one he/she loves which the saying said don't find someone you love. It contradicts? Just my random thought, though :)

FaMY berkata...

Tak salah kan, nak berdegil...? Mungkin satu hari nanti dia ubah fikiran, siapa tahu (:

farahwani ♥ berkata...

dlm post mr k, ada sebut pasal hlovate and dia punya buku kan? Aa+Bb..
Dlm post lain, ada sebut pasal 5tahun 5bulan kan..
So, conclusionnya mr k adalah pminat hlovate / buku dia, kan? Seriously, sy mmg sgt kagum dgn hlovate..and now i feel the same thing towards u..first bce ur blog..mcm , apa ni? Tp..lama lama macam baru sedar, banyak benda blh dpt dr entry awak. Kdg kdg benda tu benda yng kita sbenanya sedar tp tak nak trime fact tu..kdg kdg benda tu kita tak tahu lg. Apa pun, nak cakap..skrg mmg sy agak suka lah baca blog awak. Rasa mcm awak ni banyak ilmu/fact/pndangan yang menarik yg blh dkongsi, sama macam hlovate :) tulis la entry banyak banyak ya :D

farahnas irina berkata...

tulah... buang masa betul aku love love ex-bf haku tuh... in the end aku break off kan jugak... menyampah... skrg nih aku ikut nasihat cik gincu jer udah la...

Tanpa Nama berkata...

too late. too late. i should have read your post years ago. great. now how am i supposed to tell him that i dont really like him. ~huhh~

ANISbetty AZMAN berkata...

hey dearie, ada betulnya what u mention, b4 this i pun pikir cm tu.. nice one, explained well.. :D

faezah zahid berkata...

guys tak suka kena kongkong. yes, girls too tapi bila macam buat tak kisah dan terima seadanya, boleh pula dia pasang lagi satu. great yeah. XD

Bidadari Besi berkata...

Aa + Bb ? Hlovate kan? Ahaaha. Gile sedih cerita tu. Benz caring gileeee !

Kenari Putih berkata...

Boleh je love someone back that loves me tapi someone tu kena la criteria yg dalam my listing. Kalo tak ada, let say jongos ke.... Hihihi... Memang rejected... Hahah

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